Saturday, July 26, 2014

London, baby!

Smashing!
This past long weekend, me and my smoking hot girlfriend Sarah went to visit London. I had been there on a school trip once, a long time ago, but being unbound by teachers and strict itineraries made it seem like a different place altogether.

Sure, we did the touristy stuff. Strolling through Regent's Park and laughing at the ducks along the way, admiring the Big Ben and Buckingham Palace, checking out the goods/book hunting in Camden, and of course, having a looksie around Madame Tussauds.

By the way, the Marvel Superheroes 4D show at Tussauds is a worthwhile spectacle if you appreciate 360° cinema and special effects.

Oh, and did I mention that I fought Spiderman, bought books, and I had Sarah to myself for three whole days? Everything came up Matteo!


But.

Some stuff was, shall I say, less than ideal. Should you decide to visit London, be sure to take heed of...

The prices

London is, quite literally, pound for pound the most expensive city I have ever been to. It's ridiculous. A metro ride will set you back at least £1.70 (that's €2.50 or $2.90) and a beer will cost you £3.95 (€5.00/$6.70). A simple meal no less than £14.00 (€17.70/$23.80). Just for fun, we checked the apartment listings, finding out that - are you ready for this? - a small one bedroom apartment costs £400 per week. That's €1,517 ($2,037) per month!

No wonder that street performers don't accept anything under £2,00.


The people

Now, I know that I'm not much of a people person (check here and here for proof) and my dream of another plague might be considered anti-social, but Jesus F-ing H. Christ, my faith in humanity reached deep-sea levels in London. 


All my favorite people were there. 
  1. Ladies and gents who rush into the metro when you are still getting out. 
  2. Geniuses who walk against the stream.
  3. Slow-walking duos who unsuspectingly take up the entire sidewalk.
  4. People who suddenly stop walking and just set up camp instead of getting out of the way. 
  5. Folks who somehow fail to notice a picture-taking moment and just walk through the shot. 
I said it before and I'll say it again: the social contract is dead. It's everyone for themselves.

On another note, prepare to have your heart broken, girls. The male population of London is not all Harry Styles, all the time. It looks more like this:

How British guys look
#britishguys

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